Depression is not just a feeling of being suicidal or hearing voices inside your head, it can be thought of as a constant ache bothering you, making your life difficult. It is also one of the root causes for not being able to form meaningful relationships, nurturing relationship with a potential partner or handling an existing relationship.
Baek Sehee, a social media manager at a publishing house feels weighed down by her emotions decides to seek professional help when she loses motivation at work and feels tremors in her relationship.
The recordings of each sessions are documented in the form of series of interviews. The author talks candidly about Dysthymia, a form of depression that has plagued their life. Describing it as an ‘vague state of being not-fine and not-devastated at the same time’, she hopes that her story finds a place in everyone’s hearts.
The journey towards self-fulfillment and path to recovery are hindered by low self esteem, relentless chase of perfection, self-doubt, pathological lying etc. Her struggle which mainly centred on black & white thinking marred her logical reasoning abilities.
It takes immense courage to document ones therapy journey on the public domain and to confide to the world ones deepest inhibitions. Baek Sehee is brutally honest whilst expressing what she feels. Complex concepts like Hedgehog’s dilemma, pathological lying, Akathisia, Histrionic Personality Disorder have been broken down for easy understanding by citing example from author’s own life.
‘I want to die but I want to eat Tteokbokki’ is a part memoir and part self-help book that can be a handy guide to people who are willing to seek therapy or even to those who are already in therapy. Reading this book requires a lot of understanding, patience and empathy. From getting irritated by her whims & fancies to slowly getting to accept the way she is as a person to learning something from her journey has been nothing short of overwhelming.
“This book, therefore, ends not with answers but with a wish. I want to love and be loved”
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